


Forever and Almost Always

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Game, sort of spoilers for their alternate paired ending, tHANK U, there is no happy ending, this is just short and sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: It was a broken promise, after all.





	Forever and Almost Always

When they were children they promised to die together.

Sylvain trails his fingertips along the hilt of the sword. It’s well-loved. It’s clearly used, a little too worn, but it’s obvious that it was diligently cleaned and maintained. Tied at the end of the hilt there is a ribbon--a dirty old hair ribbon--with a metal charm shaped like the Crest of Gautier. The blade is in no less pristine condition. It’s still sharp to the touch and free of any tarnish… but not quite cleaned to the standards that Felix would normally have. 

It’s because Felix didn’t clean the sword himself, this time. 

Years ago, after a war that tore the continent apart, Sylvain told Felix he wanted to share his life with him. Felix told him that he loved him, but he had to finish what he’d started. There was more he could do, more work to be done.  _ Just wait for me, alright? Wait for me. _

Sylvain waited. Sometimes impatiently he waited, but he has a box of letters from Felix in his room. Every letter in that familiar handwriting is an uncharacteristic window into his soul. There are no snarky walls to hide behind in writing. Each one is a raw piece of their love, a reminder that they’re going to be together forever and always. 

That promise they made as children hung over them for years. Sylvain knows that he meant it as a child, but he also knows he didn’t understand how he felt back then. As they got older he learned. Felix and Sylvain moved from childhood friends to friendly rivals to  _ teenage _ friends to making out behind closed doors or tucked behind hedges on the monastery grounds. They fought through war and clawed their way out of it. They lived through it together. 

Sylvain settles numbly on the lounge chair in the front room of his home. A fire is roaring and warm, but his skin feels prickly and cold. He holds his sword in his lap and he thumbs at the worn charm. He has a similar charm--a charm bearing Felix’s crest--tied around his neck. 

_ A piece of me to protect you. _ _   
_ _ You’re the one out there fighting! _ _   
_ __ Yeah, so what? That means no one is here to keep an eye on you.

He has a set of rings in the bedroom drawer. Felix said the next time he came home to Sylvain would be the time he stays. Sylvain bought rings for the occasion because Felix already agreed to wear it.

_ Just take it now, then! You can be my husband while you’re away. _ _   
_ _ Give me something to look forward to, Gautier. _ _   
_ __ Aw, you don’t look forward to coming home to me?

Felix only got more desirable over the years. From young adults to their mid-thirties and to the last time Felix stood in front of Sylvain in person. It was his fortieth birthday, and he was pretending to be mad that Sylvain forced him to come home by hiring his men.

_ You could have taken care of this yourself, Sylvain. _ _   
_ _ Yeah, but aren’t you glad you did it? Now you can stay with me for a while.  _

Sylvain remembers the smile fondly. The way his hair framed his face, the way the ends started to curl the longer he let it get, the way his eyes looked so happy. He was glad to be home. He was happy to be held and kissed and grounded. 

Sylvain didn’t force him to come back after that, but maybe he should have. Felix kept sending letters. Promises. Soon. I’ll be home soon. 

Sylvain chokes. Hot tears slide past his numb cheeks. He should have made him come home. He should have insisted he stay. He shouldn’t have trusted Felix to take care of himself. He should have gone with him. He’s a strong man, but Sylvain has had to put himself in harm’s way to protect him before. Why didn’t he do it this time? 

“I love you,” He mumbles to the metal sword. He brings it close, practically hugs it. Maybe if he prays to the goddess hard enough this will all be a bad dream, and he’ll wake up to a letter from Felix saying he’s finally coming home. 

The more he cries, the longer he sits there shaking on that chair, the clearer the truth becomes. Felix broke his promise to come home.

Sylvain broke their promise to die together.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me @dorkpatroller on twitter for more fic updates!


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